Who Am I?
by Typhoon73
Summary: This is my very first Star Wars fanfic, I hope you give it a shot. After Luke Skywalker also made his last sacrifice for the resistance, Rey has to search for herself to understand her role in this war. This story is written from Rey's PoV.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, fellas. This is my very first Star Wars fanfic so I ask you to be patient with me and this story and to give it a chance. I hope you will like it.**

 **You guys have fun,**

 **T73.**

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I must admit that sometimes I miss the life on my home planet very much. Yes, you heard me correctly. Some days I miss Jakku. There I was only an insignificant scavenger but I didn't know the things I know today. Sometimes ignorance is a blessing. Yes, on those days I wish I was still as ignorant as I was before BB-8 and Finn came into my life. At that time, it was a struggle for survival but all I cared about was having something to eat every day. At that time, I didn't care much about what was happening in the sky at the same time. But in those days, I didn't have to ask myself if I would see those who are very close to my heart again or if they gave their life for the greater good, and I didn't have to wonder what the greater good was at all. I know that I sound selfish at this moment and that Luke and Han would be ashamed after all that they have sacrificed for the rebellion and the freedom of the galaxy.

I can literally hear Luke saying that we are not fighting for ourselves but for those who are oppressed and persecuted by the First Order, that we are no more than a small grain of sand scattering around in space. That we are laying a new foundation for freedom and justice but that it also demands a lot from us. And I hear him say that it will be a very, very long way until we reach our goals although Luke had never said those words but I could see it in his eyes and I could see it in Han's eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if Luke would have chosen this kind of life voluntarily or if he sometimes secretly wished that he got never involved in this war. I know that General Organa never really knew anything else but this war, Luke and I, on the other hand …

Anyway, now is not the time to indulge in a 'What if …'

Today there is no 'What if …' Today there is only the light or the dark side. Good or evil. Freedom or enslavement. Life or death. Again and again I come to this crossroads, again and again, I'm tempted by the dark side. Maybe because I don't really know who I am and the memories of my parents are also fading more. The ones I still have are almost gone, too. It's only a matter of time before the last one has disappeared once and for all. Is that what we really are? Fading memories? Will there even be someone who will appreciate our sacrifice and our legacy?

I don't do all this to make people sing heroic songs about me. I don't do all this to make people write stories about my adventures. I don't do all this to get people to pronounce my name in other galaxies. I do all this because I know what it means to live in the dirt. I do all this because I know what it means to be hungry. I do all this because no other living being should live under such circumstances because I think that everything and everyone has the right to be free. And a little bit I do all of this for a selfish reason. I already mentioned that I finally want to find out who I am and to whom I belong, to what I belong. I have always known that I am different from others, that there is something inside me that only a few people have, but at the same that time I couldn't name it. I couldn't figure this feeling out until I met Kylo Ren for the very first time and told me that this force in me is strong and that he could show me how to use this ability of course for his benefit, and the First Order's. At the imagination to be at his and the First Order's side, my hair stood on end. But at some point, foolish as I was, I had hoped that Kylo could change once again and take the right side, despite the murder of his own father. As I said, foolish as I was. I learned that he was trying to blind me and to get me on his side and I was once more tempted to take it. Kylo told me things during my stay on Luke's island that I wanted to hear, things that made me appear not to be lonely. Things that made me believe that I had a brother in spirit who was misguided and seduced by the dark side of the force.

At that time, unfortunately, I was vulnerable to just about anything, and everyone, and unfortunately neither Luke nor Kylo told me the whole story. Kylo had twisted the facts so much so I'd join him and Luke had omitted some facts because he was ashamed because he was willed to sacrifice his own nephew's life to save those of a billion. I'm not sure if I could make such a momentous decision. I don't even wanna imagine what conflict Luke must have been in when he thought it was the best to end his nephew's life. Can there be a greater sacrifice? I don't think so.

I take a deep breath and look up into the sky as I once did before I was a part of all this before I became painfully aware that my previous life has been a lie, when I still could pretend that there was no greater good. When I had to go out into the desert and exploit the remains of the Star cruisers to live.

Yes, I was a slave but at that time I didn't have to carry the burden of whole galaxies and the resistance on my shoulders. At least on some days, it feels like I am carrying this burden on my own even though I know I am not.

All right, I'm just complaining all the time and almost forgetting to see the good things about it. But to be fair, running into BB-8 was the best thing that happened to me R2-D2, they are much sensitive things that unfortunately can be easily be replaced by humans. These two droids are worth as much to me as any of my breathing friends. They are my friends, they are my brothers. I don't know what I would have down if one of them would have gone. Yeah, you heard me right if one of them would have gone.

If it hadn't been BB-8, I most likely would never have run into Finn. He is very important to me. No one has ever cared about me as much as he does, no one has ever risked their life for me like Finn and Han when I really needed help, no one has ever looked at me the way he does. He is family to me, he's like the brother I never had. Every time we go our separate ways again it tears my heart apart and I know that Finn feels exactly the same way even if he never says it, but sometimes eyes can say more than a thousand words.

I take a deep breath and turn my head just to see that Finn is helping Chewie loading the Millennium Falcon. His movements are cumbersome and he keeps rolling his eyes while our hairy friend is constantly whining. I'm not quite sure if Finn understands what the Wookiee is complaining about but his reactions make me smile a little before I get up and slowly walk in his direction, placing my hand gently on his shoulder.

He pauses and looks at me longer than necessary. "You know you don't have to leave again, don't you, Rey?"

I nod slowly and frown. "I have to do this. I have to do it to find myself before I can help the resistance. Can't you understand that?"

He takes a deep breath and nods slowly. "I do. Just … be careful, Rey."

I smile again and hug him tightly. "We will see again, I know it."

He pulls away and glances at Chewie. "Make sure she comes back in one piece."

The Wookiee agrees with a little too much enthusiasm and we both laugh before we split up. I walk up the Falcon's loading ramp and feel Finn's gaze on my back, which makes me turn around again and raise my hand before the gap finally closes. I take a deep breath and look at my co-pilot. "Let's do this, Chewie."

Chewie groans in agreement and follows me to the cockpit.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been more than a week since I said goodbye to Fin and somehow my heart is heavy. I know that Chewie is aware of my sadness and therefore he tries to distract me with all the technical details of the Millennium Falcon and with the adventures he has experienced with Han, and even he gets a little melancholic then. That's why we're getting out of each's hair as best as we can today. Some people need to be a little alone to organize their thoughts, I have already learned that much. Not from Luke or Han, but from life itself.

I have lived on my own for so many years and I was the one who made sure that I'd survive, in this time I had no other worries but today there is a completely different weight on my shoulders, one with which I still don't really know how to deal with because now I have more questions than before. At this moment I'm looking through older data of Han and feel as I begin to frown deeply because several of them are confusing me even more. The deeper I dig, the more I get the feeling he hid more from me than I thought. Or did I just ask the wrong questions. Well, to be honest, I hardly had the chance to ask him anything and when I had the opportunity to take Leia to ask, I had other thoughts. I hear Chewie growl and see BB-8 do a runner when I turn my head to check on both of them.

Chewie looks at me and complains that several circuit boards have been fried again and that the droid talks too much.

Then the little droid explains to me that the Wookiee does pretty much everything wrong which makes a mounting wrench flying towards BB-8 and our little buddy threatens the Wookiee with his stunner.

I walk to Chewie and show him the pad with what I have found in the Falcon's database. "Can you tell me what this is?"

He looks long at me and shrugs. "Oaa bbbaakkhooa bbg ooo aaofffooaa-aa hhhbbrraaammh mmhbbrraaorrh aaorrh."

BB-8 beeps skeptically.

It was clear that Chewie would say that he doesn't know what this is. I'm almost staring at him. "Who could give me answers?"

He's hesitating and glances at the droid who's coming closer. "Oaao ggfuuuooaarrhrrhrrhk wkkaaabbh."

BB-8 is beeping highly now, telling me that he doesn't like this.

I ignore him and take a deep breath. "Let's set a course to Takodana then."

Chewie nods and heads for the cockpit while the droid follows us and point out my errors in reasoning.

I slow my steps and look down at him. "I know, I know, BB-8. The First Order is looking for us there but apparently Maz is the only one who can give me what I'm longing for."

"Wwhowooaffh."

I turn my head in the direction of the cockpit and take a deep breath. "I'm coming."

BB-8 beeps again and let his head hang, following me now.

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We land near the remains of what once was Maz's 'palace'. The planet has changed a lot since the last time I was here and I take the blame for it. Since my last stay here war has crept in on Takodana. "My God," I whisper and Chewie whines in agreement.

I hear a rustle nearby and pull my lightsaber while Chewie's aiming his bow caster in the same direction, BB-8 rolls behind us.

Chewie whines in relief and lowers his gun and I release my breath, doing the same. The droid beeps reproachfully and rolls towards Maz.

She nods and pats his head. "I know that you know that it was me." She stops in front of me and eyes me for a moment. "I didn't think I'd see you again, kid."

"I have questions," I reply without beating about the bush.

She nods and still stares at me. "Don't we all have?"

"I have questions about my parents," I say and Chewie whines again.

Maz starts to lead the way to the ruin that once was her home. "I know you have, my child, but is this why you are here?"

"I want to know what happened to them and I can't ask Han nor Luke anymore."

"Have you tried to ask them," Maz asks me and I frown deeply.

"I -" I look at the Wookiee and sigh. "I didn't think that they might know them."

"What makes you think that I know them?"

"So, they're still alive?"

Maz turns to me and glances long at me. "You didn't answer my question."

My new hope dies down immediately and I take a deep breath. "Because -"

"Because Takodana was a stronghold of smugglers and the Resistance?"

I furrow my brows. "Was?"

She spreads her arms and nods. "Look around, Rey. The First Order is reaching out. This is just the beginning; the Republic is dying."

"The attack on Takodana was my fault. " I whisper.

"Oaaommh hhhaaarrh bbgooommh," Chewie replies and looks at me.

"I agree with the Wookiee." Maz states and he nods. "It was not your fault. Because Takodana was a stronghold the First Order attacked it. They want to wipe out anyone and everything that opposes it, Rey. This is nobody's fault but those who submit to dictatorship. Who aren't strong enough to have a free will. It was only a matter of time until the First Order attacks this planet."

I let Maz's words sink in which sooth me a little but nevertheless I have the feeling that the First Order wouldn't have come to Takodana so quickly if we hadn't sought refuge here at that time. And that feeling won't go away so quickly.

Maz marches behind the remains of a bar counter and watches me closely. "But you're not here to discuss the current state of my home with me. You want to know about your parents."

I lean against the said counter and nod slowly. "Did Han know my parents?"

"We all know them."

My heart skips a beat when I hear her say that all of them KNOW them and I blink a couple of times. "Does that mean that they are still alive?"

She downs a drink and heaves a heavy sigh. "It means that we knew your family."

My hope is as fast gone as it came and my shoulders slump. "Luke knew them too?"

"As far as I know did he met your father years ago, but I'm not sure if they ever met again."

"And my mother?"

Maz pours herself another drink and avoids my eyes. "Your mother … She was a very brave woman." She says and finally looks at me. "I don't think that she ever met Luke but Han and General Leia knew her very well."

I don't know how but somehow, I already knew that my parents weren't alive anymore but in the same time I was hoping that I'd meet them one day and that they would explain to me why they left me alone on Jakku, now I know that won't happen. I swallow hard and take a moment before I ask, "So, they weren't scrap dealers like Kylo Ren claimed?"

She shakes her head and walks around the counter and stands in front of me, taking my hands in her own. "They were so much more, Rey. Their story was … long and painful but they decided to do the right thing in the end."

I press my lips together and nod slowly, furrowing my brows. "Maz, do you know -" I swallow hard when my voice breaks and take a deep breath. "Can you tell me why they left me on Jakku?"

"To protect you, my child," she answers direct and straightforward. "They didn't flog you for their own welfare like Kylo Ren told you. Your parents knew exactly what he and the First Order were capable of. What Snoke was capable of. Children with your gift have been a threat to Snoke, so he has either seduced them or he has wiped them out completely. Your parents knew exactly what he would do to you if he got his hands on you, so they lived with you for a while on Jakku before they had to leave you."

I regain my composure again and furl my brows. "Why did they had to leave?"

"One day your father didn't return from a delivery of goods which highly alarmed your mother. On that day she left you behind."

"Why didn't she take me with her?"

"That, my child, I can't answer."

"Who can answer that?"

"Only your mother."

I take her words in and nod slowly.

"You are searching for answers," Maz says and pulls me out of my train of thought.

"I want to know who I really am," I reply and she nods again. "I want to know what's still conflicting me and why it's conflicting me."

Maz lets go of my hands and walks away from me. "I only can give you a few answers. You have to find out on your own why there is still a battle within you."

"But -" I start to argue but stop when she turns to me. "Do I still have a family."

"The Resistance is your family."

I press my lips together and nod slowly. That's something I already knew, she didn't have to tell me.

"Maybe Leia can give you more answers than I can." She adds and I furrow my brows because her comm is interrupting us all of a sudden and she turns her back to me. That's my cue to leave.

Chewie stands at the entrance of the ruin and looks at me. "Ff-faaofff fffhooou-uu ggfoaammh mmhbbrrooa aaabbgrrhk hhhoooawwhrrhk fffhooou-uu aaarrhrrrhooafff mmmooowwh?"

I don't look at him when he asks me if I got the answers that I was looking for. "Not quite yet."

He tilts his head to the side but follows me. "Hhhhbbrrooawwhooa mmhooo ggfooo bbgooagghwhmm?"

I still don't look at him and head in the direction we were coming from. "Back to the headquarter. I have some questions for Leia."

"Oo-oob fffooaa-aawwh." I hear him say and turn my head to him, seeing him shrug.

I turn my head again and can't help a little smile.

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Finn is the first one who welcomes us when we dock on the leading starship and asks a hundred questions until BB-8 asks for his attention.

"What? Your Poe's droid, I'm sure he's dying to see you." Finn whines and I smile at him. "Is Maz still mad at me?"

I scoff and frown. "I'm sure that she knows what you've done for the rebellion, she can't be mad at you."

"But -" he starts and sighs. "The last time she has seen me was when I wanted to run."

"I stop walking and turn to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. "But you didn't, did you?"

He holds my gaze and I can feel him relaxing. "Apparently not."

Poe is more than happy to see that I brought his android back in one piece and welcomes him before he looks at me. "General Leia wants to see you."

I know that Maz must have contacted her right after my departure and nod. "I like to talk to her, too," I reply and follow him with Finn hot on my heels. I am not quite sure how to approach the subject but I'm sure that Leia is going to find a way that's why I'm not wracking my brain because of it while I follow the pilot and the droid. We head in the direction of the bridge and everyone is all of a sudden looking at me when we arrive there, including Leia.

"You have the bridge, Poe." She says in a commanding tone.

He nods and steps forward. "Yes, Ma'am."

I follow her into the corridor and frown when she asks, "How was your trip to Takodana?"

I don't answer her question but state, "Maz contacted you."

Leia stops walking and turns to me. "Of course, she did. She also said that you've been asking an awful lot of questions." I open my mouth but she holds her hand up so I hold my tongue. "I can understand how you are feeling." She says and stops at a panorama window. "My father wasn't my father, my biological one. He raised me the best way he could but I always knew that he took me in when I was a newborn just like my brother. While I was growing up I somehow knew that there was something missing, that there has something or someone to be out there who was waiting for me. Back then I did not know that Luke was the missing piece, that he was my brother I didn't know of. I guess if I'd know that I had a twin brother the first thing I'd have done was looking out for him at any cost. My father knew all the time that I have a brother but never mentioned him until our paths crossed accidentally. I never dared to ask for my parents … Perhaps because I feared the truth, that Anakin Skywalker was my father."

"Darth Vader," I whisper and I see her nod. It's no secret that Luke and Leia are the children of the most frightened person in this universe but hearing her say it gives me goosebumps.

Leia nods and sighs. "Yes. That's the name we know, but that didn't make Luke and me turn to the dark side even though it has been calling to him strongly." She looks long at me and raises her brows. "You are wondering where you are coming from."

"Did Maz tell you that?"

Leia smiles broadly for a second and I feel dumb. "You are quick to forget." Her smile drops again. "I knew your parents."

I follow her when she starts to walk again and furrow my brows. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Leia stops and I almost bump into her. "You never ask."

I stare at her and furl my brows. "I didn't know that I have to ask for that."

She nods and continues to walk with a heavy sigh. "Your parents had been extraordinary."

I follow her and my heart speeds up. "So, you knew them?"

"Better than that," she replies and it seems like that something's starting to weigh heavy on her again. "They were my friends." She looks long at me and sets her jaw. "They became my friends after they turned their backs on the Empire."

My heart drops because of what Leia just said. "They were with the Empire?"

"Worse than that, they were Inferno Squad." It seems like she can see right through me and nods. "I know exactly how you are feeling, Rey. They caused the Rebellion a lot of damage but I trusted your parents when they came to us, just like General Calrissian. He has seen the good in them."

"Why did they commit treason?"

"Something on their world they have seen made them do so. They never told me what that was but your father also told me that the incident with Luke unclouded his mind. That he then understood that the light side is nothing to be afraid of, that the Jedi never had been the real threat."

This time it's hard for me to keep my feelings in check and I fight with myself to keep my tears at bay. "What was their name?"

Leia smiles when she answers. "Iden and Del."

I try my patents names for the very first time in my life when I whisper. "Iden and Del."

Leia nods and smiles. "Everyone who knew them can call themselves lucky that they had them on their side."

"Did they die for the Resistance?"

"They died for their family." She replies in a blink of an eye and I frown. "They joined us in our fight against the Empire but never really joined the rebellion."

"What happened?"

"An old friend of your parents killed your father when he was back on a planet named Pillio to help its people. It was a trap, though. Kylo Ren broke his mind to get the map that would lead him to Luke."

Pride fills me and I take a deep breath. "He didn't"

"Ben underestimated your father," Leia says and I think I hear a little pride because of it. "He thought that Del was just a foot soldier who was blindly following your mother, that he wasn't as strong as Iden was but Del was able to lead Ben into error. He was able to protect you and your mother and -"

I wait and furl my brows when she doesn't continue. "And?"

"Your older sister."

My heart stops beating when I hear that I have a sister but I step closer. "I do have a sister?"

Leia closes her eyes and nods. "Yes."

Anger is boiling up in me and I clench my fists. "Did they kill her, too?"

She shakes her head. "No. No, they didn't she became the Inferno Squad leader right after her … your mother died."

I turn to leave without Leia's permission. "I have to find her."

"Rey," Leia says and I stop without turning to her. "You can find her on Tatooine." She is silent for a moment. "And don't let the darkness embrace you."

I turn around and look at her long before I go to her and embrace her like I did after we met the first time. I don't say a word and turn to leave.

Finn follows me again hot on the heels. "You're leaving again?"

I apparently do."

"I'm coming with you."

I stop and close my eyes. "No, this is about me."

"That's why you need me."

I look long at him and roll my eyes before I start to head for the Falcon. "Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

I put a hand on Chewie's shoulder after he assured me that he has everything under control and after I got up from the pilot's seat. It's still unusual for me that I am the one who's commanding the Millennium Falcon now. I smile at him and leave the cockpit to see what Finn's doing right now.

I find him sitting at the chess table and notice that he seems a bit thoughtful which is why I join him. "What's on your mind?"

He looks at me and I know immediately that she's going to say something that I won't like so much. "Why are you so eager to know who your parents are?"

I blink a couple of times and furrow my brows. "Did you never want to know who your parents are?" As soon as those words leave my mouth, I feel like an idiot. I know his background story and should know better than to ask this question.

He frowns deeply and shifts in his seat. "No. No, you know that stormtroopers were brainwashed massively as kids. I've never wasted a thought on my family. I don't even know if I still have a family."

I look down at my hands and take a moment before I say, "Have you no memory of your life before the First Order?"

Finn shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "No, what I remember is how we were inculcated that our parents were weak and unable to take care of us, that the First Order alone is the solution to all problems, and that the Resistance is a tumor that must be systematically removed. I even can't remember my parents' faces."

"Haven't you ever been curious about where you're from, why your parents left you to the First Order -"

"Stop," he interrupts me and I shut my mouth immediately. "Just stop it, Rey." He closes his eyes and heaves a sigh. "I'm sorry, I just -"

I place my hand over his and frown a little. "Don't be, Finn, I am the one who should be sorry."

Finn looks long at me and nods slowly. "Is that what drives you? Are these question the reason why you're looking for your parents, your family. Questions only they can answer? I mean, I remember how we met and you wanted to go back to Jakku at any price."

I pause and press my lips together. "I wanted to back to Jakku because at that time I was still naive enough to believe that my parents would come back and pick me up from there as they promised me when I was a child and left me with the next best slave trader." I stop and shrug. "I'm not even sure they knew that Thifot was an unscrupulous slave trader." I smile a little and look at Finn. "I want to finally understand and why I'm so torn inside. I want to understand why it's so easy for the Dark Side to seduce me, Finn. I want to know why they left me behind while they kept my sister with them."

"And what if you don't like the answers? Will you turn your back on the good thing, the thing you and I stand for?" He frowns when I don't answer right away. "We can't lose you, Rey ... I can't lose you."

I've already thought about what would happen if I'd find answers that I don't like, answers that could make me my whole existence. Whether I really turn my back away from those who are dear to me only to rearrange my life. If I could be able to pretend that neither of this ever happened. Whether I should accept Ben's offer and rule galaxies with fear and terror, which would at the same time mean that old friends become new enemies. A soft voice in the back of my head keeps whispering to me that this is the right way and that I should give in to the temptation. I suppress this voice but in some situations, it's almost as if this voice is yelling at me, ordering me not to resist the darkness any longer but the last encounter with Ben made it clear to me that I would never be able to suppress or extinguish innocent lives just because they have a free will. It made me understand that Ben could no longer be saved and that our paths separated once and for all that day. On this day I understood that many things connect us and that we are worlds apart at the same time.

He is a man who sweeps everyone and everything out of his way without remorse as soon as a person or a whole planet doesn't allow themselves to be subjugated. He hasn't even hesitated to kill his own master before he reached out for Snoke's power.

At that time I almost fell for Ben's hook, line and sinker and had hope that there was still hope for him and that there would be left a little bit of light left in him, that he just needed a little help to get back on the right path. I thought Luke was also one to be blamed for Ben's way of life, that he, Leah and Han paved the way for Snoke. I don't blame them, though, because they wanted the best for Ben.

"Rey?"

I blink a couple of times when Finn's voice pulls me from my train of thought and I say without a second thought, "I will never turn my back on you."

He smiles a little and opens his mouth when the Falcon starts to shake.

I hope that again only one circuit board failed and that we fell out of light speed somewhere in the Outer Rim. It's an easy task to repair the ship there and remain undetected or even to be discovered but with the knowledge that a group of rebels has your back. Today it's no longer so that the First Order is undisputed and more and more people join the Resistance. I suppose it's because Luke had returned from his exile at the time and had stood up to the greatest danger one last time. His sacrifice has been like a beacon that was lit again and had shaken planets and their people awake.

I hope to hear Chewie saying that he still has everything under control and jump up to my feet just like Finn when the Falcon is shaken again, even BB-8 pipes anxiously.

This time it feels like we were hit by a photon torpedo.

We're running down the aisles and are already on alert.

"Chewie,"I shout as the ship shakes again and it becomes clear to me that we are attacked.

I briefly lose my balance as the Falcon flies a sharp left turn and brace myself on a wall. "Chewie!" I stumble into the cockpit and see that we are no longer in light speed but follow a Tie-Fighter that skilfully flies a zigzag course to avoid coming into the bullseye. "Why didn't you call me," I growl at the Wookie and sit down in the pilot's seat.

"Oaa whraaaggggggkooaff ffhooou-uuwwh bbgaawkkoa mmhbbrrwwhwwooaooaa mmhaaowkkooarrh," he whines and I look baffled at him, hearing him say that he called out to me for three times and I didn't hear that.

"We really need to get an intercom for this ship," I state and Chewie agrees. I turn my head to Finn when he's about to hurry into the turret and frown because I notice that the Tie-Fighter isn't attacking but in a waiting position. I also feel no aggression emanating from the 'danger'. "Finn, wait?"

"For what?" He blurs. "Them shooting us down?"

Chewie agrees.

I don't look at them. "Just ... wait. Chewie, open a channel."

"Ooaabbwwhwggkaaowhrbbrr?"

"Yes, I am sure."

"Oo-oorrraaffh," he replies and shrugs.

"You sure about what," Finn asks and BB-8 translate it. Finn looks at the droid and frowns deeply. "She's sure about what? Rey?"

I ignore his question and slow down the speed of the ship, always prepared that our supposed enemy takes advantage of this opportunity and that he starts the next attack. If that happens, we need to get away as soon as possible. Sure, it's just a single Tie-fighter, but it can do a lot of damage before we can shoot it down and I'm not sure how much help we will get in this region of the galaxy.

Chewie looks worriedly at me and I also have a pretty queasy feeling.

I swallow hard because nothing happens. The opposing pilot is neither attacking nor does he try to contact us. What if I got us right into an ambush? What if we follow the ship and there's a whole squadron waiting for us?

"Rey?" Finn says once more, this time a little more concerned.

His voice brings me out of my train of thought and I look at Chewie with a slight frown. "We follow the Tie-fighter but keep enough distance in case we're falling into a trap."

He nods and agrees with me without a second thought.

"You sure about this," Finn asks with a deep frown.

I don't look at him but say, "No."

He follows me as soon as I get out of my seat. "Then why are we doing this?"

I walk along the corridor and frown deeply. "Because we have to make sure that this Tie-fighter is lost and that the pilot doesn't have the opportunity to pass our position to a star cruiser before we shoot him down."

"We can just pretend that we never crossed paths with the fighter and keep moving."

I stop abruptly and Finn almost bumps into me as I turn around without a warning. "I thought we were past that already."

"What?"

"The ongoing run away."

His shoulders are sagging and he sighs resignedly. "I really admire you for your courage, Rey, and that you never run from a confrontation, but we are no use for the Resistance when we are dead." He waits for a moment and raises his brows. "Think, Rey."

I look at him closely and see once again the stormtrooper who did everything to run from the First Order. Back then I could understand in a certain way why Finn wanted to run. Today he should know that you can't hide from them, no matter how hard you try. I was hoping that he'd finally come to his senses and understand that you have to choose a side. I was hoping he'd finally understand that I'd rather die in freedom than living in captivity.

I huff and turn around again so I can prepare us for a fight. Neither have I the time nor the nerves to discuss with Finn whether it's better to run again. "Chewie and I will drop you off on the next planet if we get out of this in one piece."

I'm sure my disappointment is clearly audible because he says, "Wait." He seems a bit frustrated as I ignore him again and keep walking. He grabs my wrist and I glare at him. "Rey, wait." He let go of my wrist after a moment and sighs. "I don't want to be on the run all the time either, I don't want to live in captivity either. I do believe in the Resistance, Rey, and I believe that there's still hope that we have to fight for. I'm just saying that the First Order is eager to take us out, or even worse, it is eager to get their hands on you once again. I won't leave your side, you won't get rid of me so easily."

I look long at him and open my mouth to tell him that I am once again sorry for being wrong about him and close it when I hear Chewie say. "Wwhwwooaffh!" Somehow he sounds insecure like he has seen something that he can't understand.

Finn rolls his eyes. "What now?"

I start to run and look over my shoulder. "He just said my name."

He follows me hot on the heels. "I'm getting tired of this running around."

I have to laugh but it dies down immediately when we come into the cockpit and see an even bigger ship right in front of the Millenium Falcon.

"Rey," Finn says worriedly.

"I know," I reply without looking at him.

"That's an Imperial Corvette."

"I know."

"We should get out of here."

" **I know** ," I almost bark and am about to initialize light speed to get away before the corvette's crew get the chance to open fire.

"We're going to die."

Chewie turns his head in Finn's direction. "Rrhk bbrruuummh uuubbf!"

I glance at him and smile after he told Finn to shut his mouth. "Thank you."

The former stormtrooper sits down on the third seat and furls his brows. "Even I understood that."

I glare at him once again. "Really?"

"Shutting up now."

I roll my eyes and am about to speed up an maneuver us out of this situation when suddenly the communicator cracks. "This is Centurion III. Identify."

My heart drops and I look at Chewie while we remain silent for a little while. It's not an oppressive silence but swollen with relief. Every one of the Resistance knows the name Centurion all too well. This Corvette has taken part in many battles. The Centurion III is literally the flagship of the Resistance, just like the Covus once was. It's a sign to the First Order that we won't give up without a fight.

Even I heard as a child stories about the Centurion. Not this ship but her predecessors, each of them had been impressive. I never thought that I actually would see a Centurion in real life let alone meeting its crew.

A smile tugs on the corners of my mouth when Chewie tells me that this is one of our ships. I turn my attention to BB-8 and nod before I send a message back to the Corvette. "Centurion III, this is the Millenium Falcon, we are transmitting the identification code now." I nod at the little droid and he beeps excitedly before he gets to work.

All of us are holding the breath while the corvette's crew is checking the code and I feel my heart pounding hard.

Then we hear relieving words cracking through the speakers, "Welcome to the Centurion III."

I release my breath and start to laugh with Finn and Chewie, BB-8 is beeping excitedly.

"That turned out well," I state and get up from my seat, punching Finn's shoulder lightly.

He scoffs and nods sarcastically. "Pretty well. You didn't know that this is the Centurion, did you?"

I don't look at him. "Of course I did."

"so why chasing a Tie-fighter?"

"It was leading the way."

He smirks one-sided. "You didn't know."

I get my stick and smirk at him. "Shut up."


	4. Chapter 4

We got permission to board the Centurion and I tell to stay alert on the Falcon in case we have to leave quickly. Finn is right, I had no idea that this Corvette is the Centurion nor do I know what kind of intentions its crew has. Finn has his hand on his blaster which gives me certain safety and makes me understand that in the worst case we will fight our way out. I just hope we really didn't run into the middle of a sophisticated trap.

We are clearly surprised that we are not welcomed in the hangar by soldiers who have their blasters ready. I look at Finn confused and he pulls the corners of his mouth downwards, shrugging.

I hold my breath as the steel door slides open and my eyebrows shoot up high when I hear two voices.

"I told you not to open fire. You're lucky Solo didn't start to hunt you, otherwise, I wouldn't speak to you now," says an older male voice. It almost sounds like the man's scolding a little child. "Thank God -"

"Calm down already," replies a young female voice and a certain haughtiness can be heard in it. "I would have clarified the situation before it would have got out of hand.

"You're -" They round the corner and he trails off as soon as he lays eyes on me and Finn.

He is a native of Duro. His skin is blue and his eyes are red and big. I have never met a native of Duro before but I have heard many stories about them. I was just never sure if they were really true.

Which surprises me, even more, is that I look into the face of a young girl. Perhaps she's thirteen and yet she seems extremely familiar to me although I know that we have never met before. She has a fair complexion, dark hair, and big blue eyes, her facial features are familiar to me, too, and I know the spark in her eyes all too well.

I also had the spark in my eyes when I imagined adventures as a child in which I had played the leading role, saving whole galaxies and being exuberantly rewarded for it. Where I didn't know what the harsh reality looked like and that such a fight also meant losing friends

"You're not Han solo," says the Duros male.

"Obviously," I reply, and the girl comes threateningly towards me.

"Who are you," she wants to know.

Finn raises his hands in amusement. "Take it easy, kiddo."

I glare at him and put my hand on my chest. "My name is Rey. This is Finn." I raise an eyebrow as soon as I hear a beeping next to me and look down at our android. "And this is BB-8."

The Duros is getting closer a little. "I'm Shriv Suurgav and this is my little nag Amara Versio." He pauses and looks over our shoulders like he's expecting someone else. "I can't imagine Han solo volunteering to give the Falcon to you. Are he and Chewie in the ship?"

"Chewie is." Finn jumps in because the silence lasts a little bit too long.

I see the confusion in Shriv's eyes and clench my jaw. "Han ... He didn't make it."

Shriv's mouth falls open in disbelief and Amara is suddenly silent. "I have heard rumors but haven't believed it." He pauses briefly and nods to the doors. "I'll take you to the Commander."

I nod and follow the two crew members and secretly wonder how such a young girl could get involved in such a war and why she can be so excited about it.

We follow the two through a really impressive ship and are always greeted with skeptical looks. I don't know why that is. Maybe because the Millennium Falcon is docked or maybe because someone like me carries a lightsaber.

None of us say a word on the way to the command center where's a lot of activity."

"Zay," Shriv tries to catch the attention of a woman who's standing with her back to us, barking commands. "Zay!"

When he says her name, my heart drops and I feel like I'm paralyzed. I've learned that I probably have a sister with that name and I'd find it strange if we'd crossed ways under these circumstances.

"Zay, Han Solo is dead!"

As on command, the work is stopped in the command center and the woman slowly turns to us. She's a little taller than me, has a fair complexion, brown hair and dark eyes. I hardly can imagine that we could be related.

She looks at Finn first and then her eyes wander to mine. Based on her facial expression, she seems to see a long forgotten person from the past. A past that is about to catch up with her. The woman named Zay approaches me and for a fraction of a second, it seems as if she wants to reach out for me before her eyes turn hard again. "What happened to him? Did his gambling become his doom?"

"His son killed him," I answer without a second thought and she sets her jaw.

"Of course he did," Zay states and is glancing at Shriv. "Of course he died by the hand of his own son. That fool believed he could change his son."

"Han Solo was no fool," I reply louder and anger bubbles up in me. "He tried to safe -"

"I know." She interrupts me and furls his brows. "I knew Han by heart. I grew up in this war and that's why I try to keep my people out of it because there is no winner in it."

I look at her in disbelief and can hardly hide my bafflement when Amara interferes all of a sudden. "I thought Han was your friend. Doesn't he deserve -"

"Zip it." Zay hisses and the little girl presses her lips together. "How did Han die?"

"Han was killed by Kylo Ren," Finn answers when I don't do so immediately and something happens to Zay for a moment. She tightens her jaw as soon as she hears the name.

"He wouldn't listen."

"He tried to save his son," I reply with anger in my voice.

Zay looks at me darkly as she turns to me. "Ben Solo has nothing good in him."

"You don't know that." I wonder myself why I'm saying this because I know Ben's plans. But how does one say? Hope dies last.

"Rey," Finn whispers when it seems that the situation is escalating.

Zay steps closer to me and her eyes are gloomy.

"Since the day I was born I have seen people like Kylo Ren oppressing or even wiping out whole populations," she says low. "I have witnessed the First Order wiping out planets, before that it subjugated the population. I watched my friends die because they thought the could stop the First Order. I've lost everything by trying to Stop Snoke and Kylo Ren. I've seen things you can't even imagine. So believe me when I say there is nothing good in Ben Solo." She turns away from me again. "Now if you would excuse me."

I stare at the back of her head and am about to say something when I feel a hand on my arm.

Finn frowns at me. "Rey, come on. There's nothing you can do right now."

Zay straightens her back as soon as she hears my name and she turns her head to look at me. This time there is neither anger nor contempt for us in her eyes. It almost seems like she's looking at me to see if I am really who I am. But as fast as this moment has come as fast it's over again.

I feel a tug on my arm and look at Finn before he says, "Come on."

I take a deep breath and follow him and Amara out of the command center.

I wonder if Zay is really my sister and what made her that way that she is today. Her behavior and her statements are confusing me even more, but that is of minor importance for now. We should now leave and fly to Pillio to find out why this planet was so important for my father.

"I'm sorry about my mom's behavior," Amara says as she follows us and we stop in the corridor.

Finn looks surprised at the girl. "Zay Versio is your mom?"

The girl smiles sideways. "You can't choose your parents, right?"

"Right," I reply and swallow the lump in my throat down. That is the reason why I felt a connection with Amara, apparently, I even have a niece. "Why is it hard for your mother to approach the subject of the Resistance?"

"My mom and my dad fought together in this system for the Resistance, they met on a Starcruiser. My dad was an X-wing pilot, the best in the fleet."

"What fleet," Finn asks and I frown. "We didn't see a fleet."

"The Centurion is the last ship of the fleet, we are the last men standing." Amara answers and his mouth falls open.

"Is that why you took a Tie fighter," I ask with a frown. "To practice your pilot skills?"

"Yes."

Finn is scrutinizing her for a while and frowns, too. "How old are you?"

Amara is standing tall now. "Twelve."

"You're a kid."

"No, I'm not." She now looks at me. "Please don't tell my mom that I took a Tie fighter."

He looks at me and smirks. "You're secret's safe with us. About Shriev, I'm not so sure."

I can't help my smile and agree in silence. "So the Centurion is more a guardian for Pillio and the system?"

"We fight for the right cause. It's just ... sometimes my mom forgets that. We are the resistance in this system, the only resistance. After the First Order attacked us and almost eliminated us, we got not so much support from the real Resistance as we asked."

"Because most planets aren't colonized," Finn says and looks at me.

"Exactly. We were expendable."

I furl my brows. "Then why would the First Order come to this system?"

Amara looks long at me. "Resources? For how long are you fighting with the Resistance?"

Finn's scratching his neck. "Um -"

"Apparently not as long as you are," I answer and shrug when he glares at me. "How did you know Han?"

"He was the only one who helped us once in a while."

Finn looks long at me and frowns. "Chewie didn't mention that he knows the Centurion."

The girl shakes her head and frowns as well. "Han has always traveled into this system alone. I don't know this Chewie guy either."

"It seems like that many people carry some secrets with them," I sigh and press my lips together."

"Rey -" Finn says and I know that he wants to calm me down, that's why I smile at him.

"I'll get cabins prepared for you," Amara states all of a sudden an I nod.

"Your mother won't be thrilled," Finn says and I agree with him silently.

"I have my ways and means." She replies with a mischievous smile and turns around to head back to the command center. "Don't worry about me, Finn."

Finn turns to me and is grinning broadly. "I really can imagine that the girl is your niece."

I look confused at him. "Why?"

"Amara is as stubborn as you are."

I blink a few times before I start to smile. "True. Come on, let's get Chewie before he flies off without us."

He follows me and I feel his eyes on the back of my head. "He wouldn't do that, would he?"

I look over my shoulder and pull the corners of my mouth down. "I don't know, we don't know each other that well yet."

He stares at me and rolls his eyes, and I have to chuckle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chewie isn't thrilled about the idea that we'll stay at the Centurion for now and figure out how we can help the crew without being pushy. Of course, we will leave again as soon as Zay or Shriev ask us to.

We are welcomed by Amara in the canteen and her eyes become big as she sees the Wookiee.

"Whoa," she whispers impressed.

Chewie wonders about the reaction and tilts his head with a growl to the side. I know he doesn't mean it badly, but he can't stand it when you stare at him.

I clear my throat and look warningly at him. "Amara, this is Chewie."

"He's a Wookiee."

"Wwhwooaa-aaggggggkw-ff?" He complains and steps closer.

"Sssh," I warn him and he backs off again.

Amara raises her eyebrows. "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just I've never seen a Wookiee before."

"You can understand him," Finn wants to know.

Amara shrugs. "Don't you?"

"Apparently everyone can understand this thing but me," Finn grumbles and stumbles forward when Chewie gives him a 'gentle' push.

Amara is grinning and looks at us. "I hope you don't mind that Finn and you will share a cabin. I mean you are ... Aren't you?"

Finn and I look at each other and our eyes become big at the same time as we understand what the girl is implying. "Oh, no."

"No," Finn says at the same time.

"No, we ... we ... We're just friends."

He nods vehemently and Chewie chuckles. "Yes, we're just ... We're just friends."

The girl is blushing violently. "Oh, I thought that -"

"It's okay," I say when she trails off and place a hand on Finn's shoulder. "Finn and I will share a cabin."

"We will," he asks surprised.

I glare at him and nod slowly. "Yes, we will."

"I can stay -" He trails off when I set my jaw. "I'll stay with Rey."

Amara shows us around in the ship areas that are accessible to us and explains to us the daily routine to us in the same way she tells us better to stay back until several things have calmed down. Then she leads us to our cabins and asks if she can spend some time with Chewie and BB-8.

I'm standing with Finn in our cabin and take a deep breath because there are beds in here. "At least we don't have to cuddle."

He stumbles over his feet and I look amused at him. "Yes, we are so lucky."

"You're acting weird."

"We are in a foreign system."

"You're a former stormtrooper."

"I still don't have to like it." He stops and sits down on his cot. "Will you tell her?"

I mirror him and brace myself on my very own cot. "What?" I tilt my head to the side. "Who?"

"Will you tell Zay that you're her long-lost sister?"

I look down at the floor and shrug. "I don't know." My eyes shoot up and I furrow my brows. "I mean, I don't know what I was hoping after I found my family. Maybe I was hoping that they would welcome me with open arms and explain why they left me on Jakku. Why they never tried to get in touch with me. I don't even know if I hoped that they'd told others about my existence. I'm not even sure that the commander really is my sister."

"Zay reacted when she heard your name," he replies and I nod. "I can't imagine she would have reacted if she didn't know your name, but don't forget that your parents left you on Jakku years ago."

I furl my brows. "Is that supposed to be encouraging?"

He raises his hands. "Just saying."

I have to smile briefly. "I know. I just ... I don't know how to approach the subject the best way."

He pats the free spot next to him and I sit down on it without a second thought. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I put my head on his shoulder. "There will be a time and a way to tell her, Rey." He whispers and I heave a sigh because I know that he's right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We've been on the Centurion for more than forty-eight hours under the excuse that we need to do some repairs. Well, it's not quite an excuse, we really need to do some repairs and this stay gives us the opportunity and me to get to know Zay a little better and to find out what had happened between her and the Resistance.

Chewie is all over Amara and it's hardly possible to separate the two, the same with BB-8 and an android that Zay just calls Dio, a relic from another time but apparently something more is connecting them, more than just technical advantages.

I go to the dining facility and sit down on the opposite of Zay who looks at me chewing and she furls her brows. I learned in those two days that it is a disapproving reaction.

She swallows her food and asks, "How long will it take until your done with the repairing?"

I roll my tumbler between my hands and shrug. "Turn out that the Falcon needs a complete overhaul, but I hope we'll be gone by the end of the week."

"You're not the only one."

This time I am the one who is offended and I lean forward. "Tell me, what did I actually do to you? From the moment we got on this ship, you've been treating us like lepers."

"You're free to leave at any time."

"We'll be gone faster than you'd like," I reply before I can no longer keep my anger in check. I know when I'm unwanted and then I don't take up someone's time who hardly can stand my presence.

"It's not you," Zay says all of a sudden, and I'm slowing down my steps. "It's ... When I was sixteen, I saw my mother die on one of the First Order's destroyers."

I swallow hard and slowly turn back around.

"She was the commander of the Inferno Squad and, like my father, turned her back on the Empire. They joined the Alliance for a while and completed some missions, saved star systems from falling under the tyranny of Snoke and helped whole worlds to live in freedom. My mother fought the last battle of Jakku before she and my father committed themselves to help those who had been cut off from any basic care and then they were caught up by their past." She's pausing and I frown at her. "My mother and I tore a star destroyer out of speed light before it had the chance to cause some more damage. She saved me and died in my arms in the end.

I'm sitting down again and give her a moment. "What happened to your father?"

She smiles humorlessly and pushes her plate away. "He died alone on a Corvette that he used for smuggling. He had the misfortune to meet Luke Skywalker in his previous life. He was murdered by a man he once called a friend. At a time when they were still a part of the Empire."

"Is that why you turned your back on the Resistance? You mentioned that this war cost you a lot."

"I've committed myself to help the people in this system after the Resistance left them alone. My mother told me with her last breath that we fight so others can live and if we die, it better be for the same reason."

I lower my brows and let the words sink in. "She sounds like a very wise woman to me."

Zay scoffs and I can tell that her walls are crumbling. "She really was and she was really complicated. That's something I got from her, too."

"Your father was different?"

It's the first time I see her smile, really smile. "He was totally different. My mother was more the warrior and he was ... an explorer. He had always explained to me the flora and fauna of the planets we visited. I have never seen anyone as excited as he was when he discovered a new plant or creature. And he never let my mother down, no matter how precarious the situation had been." She takes a deep breath and empties her tumbler. "What about you? How did you get engaged in this mess?"

I scoff and look over my shoulder like BB-8 or Finn are standing behind me. "I ... ran into Finn and BB-8."

"That's it? You ran into a guy and his android?"

"Yes."

"And what brings you into this abandoned galaxy?"

I don't answer right away and hold her gaze. "I'm looking for some answers."

"I can tell you that the Jedi aren't coming from here." She states and my eyebrows shoot up. She smiles sideways and shrugs. "I've noticed the lightsaber the moment you entered this Corvette. I guess you're the last person who's carrying that weapon at all."

"Have you ever met a Jedi," I ask and hope is blooming in my chest.

"I have never met one until now," Zay answers and I see something in her eyes that looks like hope.

I shake my head and smile ironically. "I am no Jedi."

"If you say so." Zay turns her head when Shriv comes into the dining facility and says her name.

"Zay, you should take a look at something."

She nods to herself and gets up to her feet, looking at me. "Care to join?"

I'm a little surprised by the invitation but get up to my feet as well. "Not at all."


End file.
